This would have been the year...

This is the year you would have been so into Christmas. You would have been so mesmerized by the festive lights and Christmas decorations. You'd sing right along with, "Better not pout I'm telling you why, Santa Claus...." You would have been so excited about Sparkle, our elf, and she would have brought you and your siblings holiday pjs, like she has every other year. You would have been so excited to sit on Santa's lap, and tell him you wanted race cars, just like Daddy drives, or maybe you'd say you want a bike, like your big brothers have. This would have been the year, you would get to go out and build a snowman with Katie and Alexa, and go sledding with Karter and Buddy. We would go to Karter and Buddy's basketball games, and they'd be heroes in your eyes. This would be the year, that your proud big sister Alexa would help you per-fect your drawings. She'd surely direct (or maybe boss) you on how to draw the perfect square or circle. You would probably yell for me, "Mommy, Lex bossy" and I'd just laugh. This would be the year that your biggest sister, Katie, would make sure her littlest brother knew all his colors and numbers. She would love reading to you, and you would love to snuggle with her. This would be the year that you'd get scraps, and bruises and booboos from playing so rough. Daddy would kiss them to make them 'all better', and I would scoop you up with a long hug, knowing you were my last little one to enjoy this with. In the spring, we would sign you up for your first year of tee ball. You'd be a natural, so good and so fast. Sometimes, you would stand out in the field and pick the grass, waiting for a ball to get hit to you. This would be the year you'd be so excited to go watch Daddy race the fast cars. You'd know the different drivers by their car colors, and we'd spend many weekends at the race track. This would be the year we'd get to spend another summer 'off' together, my five beautiful babes and me. Some days we'd go to the pool, or maybe the movies. Maybe we'd explore through our woods, or go play at the park. But most of the time we would spend at home relaxing and playing outside, enjoying each other. This would be the year.

But, instead I sit here daydreaming of these things.

In every rainbow, in the eyes of your sisters and brothers, in all that has happened since you left this world-- I know I will see you again.

Happy 3rd birthday Jayse Perry Ebersole. I love you so much.