Broken cup

I have this terrible habit of laying my empty coffee mug around in the most random places. Many times I drink my coffee on the couch, so after I drink it, the mug often ends up just laying on the couch...until I go back for another cup. (Eventually the coffee cup will end up in the sink....eventually.)

Two years ago on Mothers Day, my wonderful children, gave me a coffee cup. This coffee cup has held a special place in my heart. I carried this coffee cup to work with me this past year, and often the coffee I drank at work, this mug would be my cup of choice to enjoy my coffee. This cup was special, not only because my children gave it to me, but because it had a J on it. My older children know how much I miss Jayse, and they take every opportunity to remind me that they love him and love me too. When they gave me this cup, it was because Jayses' "J" was on it.

So the other day, it was raining, and the children were bouncing off the wall. Katie, Buddy, and Alexa were playing tag back the hall, out to the living room, to the dining area, and back again. I think I was in the kitchen starting to make dinner, and I heard a shattering sound. I immediately knew it was my cup. What I didn't know, or expect, was the reaction of my children.

I walked over and got the broom and dust pan and started to sweep up the broken coffee cup pieces. I was met with tear-filled eyes and "I'm so sorry mommy" from my babies. It just broke my heart. Was I upset that my favorite coffee cup was broken? Yes, of course---but it was an accident, and really my fault because I shouldn't of haphazardly left it sitting on the couch. But to see my children so upset that they broke my cup, it just broke my heart. I told them it was only a cup, it was an accident, and I wasn't mad.

Sometimes I truly forget that these little people have real feelings. Sometimes I think that I'm alone in this grief journey, and then I'm quickly reminded that these sweet little people that God has entrusted to me are also wading the grief waters.