Out of the Fog

I think back to life as a child, with those rose-colored glasses. I remember thinking and believing life was like a blank tape. I spent so many hours with a blank tape in hand, waiting for Ace of Base, Hootie and the Blowfish, or Alanis Morisette to come on the radio so I could grab my boombox and record them. I would plan out which songs I would tape and  patiently wait for them to play on the radio. But then sometimes you could hear my younger sister talking in the background, or I stopped recording before the song was over, or once in a while, a song would come on that wasn't on my 'must tape list'. Then I thought, I bet that's how life is. You start with a blank tape, and your life is the album or mixed tape you get as a result of the songs you choose to record or the way you choose to live your life. I thought I was so clever when I came up with that.

This past year of 34 has been consumed with 'surviving'. My mind has often been...elsewhere--as I think of a word to describe it, the only thing I can come up with is elsewhere. I haven't been fully present, and I know that. I know that I'm coming out of this fog that I feel like I've been in for the past 13 months, but it hasn't been easy. I've clung to God's promises and dove into learning his word, and I know he's changed me. I've surrendered to him, and because he is a gracious and loving God, he has saved me. So for this year of 35, I'm stepping out of my comfort zone.

These first 35 years have been filled with so much joy and I've been beyond blessed, but I've also experienced heartache and had my share of struggle. I'd love for the next 35 years to be filled with Jesus at the center of my life. I know in another 35 years, I'll be 70. And 35 years after that, if I'm still alive I'd be 105. All that time will pass by in a moment, and my prayer is that when I met Jesus he will tell me, "Well done, good and faithful servant!"

So watch out :) I have big things planned God has put on my heart 💙 for the year of 35.

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